Events flow naturally from the ambitions and conflicts of a human being. The unfolding of events is always according to the motives of the human beings through whom God’s will is done without their realizing it . . . Pharaoh conducted himself in conformity with his own motives and his own Godless view of his status.
adapted from Rabbi Moshe Greenberg (1928-2010)
Day 1: Out of chaos, God created light and dark. Day and night. And it was good.
Day 2: Then the heavenly vault of sky and the celestial rains were separated from the water on the earth.
Day 3: Next, God made dry land and the seas and He liked it a lot. So he created vegetables and fruit trees and all sorts of sprouting plants and God said,
Well, this is darn good.
Day 4: Now, God set the sun and moon in the expanse of the sky to separate day from night and He added stars to wish on and months to bless and years to celebrate
and He determined the rhythm of the universe and all this, too, was good.
Day 5: Then there were fish and birds and sea monsters and creatures breathing life, creeping and increasing and filling the waters and the skies and the whole earth and Wow. It was good.
Day 6: And the earth brought forth cattle and lions and tigers and bears, oh my, and God said, This is good and then He created man and woman in His image
and He said, This is very good.
Day 7: Then, His work of creation finished, God stopped His labors,
blessed the seventh day and called it the holy Shabbat, a day of renewal and rest.
(Immediately after the Friday swearing in): Now all was chaos and desolation when Trump turned out the lights on ObamaCare. “It’s gotta go. Repeal and replace with something terrific.” Before leaving the Oval Office for the inaugural balls, Trump said, “Thank you, it's a great day.” Not just good. Great.
Day 1: Trump turned day into night. Surrounded by men, DJT reinstated the global gag rule, reversing progress on family planning and reproductive health, denying women in poor countries regular access to prenatal care, legal, safe and affordable contraception and abortion. Trump smiled at his handiwork and said, “I like kids. I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds, and she’ll take care of the kids. Nobody has more respect for women than I do.”
Day 2. Next, ignoring the sacredness of water and earth, Donald Trump signed executive orders advancing the Keystone XL and Dakota Access pipelines. "I want it built,” Trump said, “but I want a piece of the profits. That’s how we're going to make our country rich again,” said this man who holds stock in the company doing the construction. Is this good? You tell me.
Day 3: Then DJT ordered a wall be built on the dry land. "I will build a great wall - and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me - and I'll build them very inexpensively.
I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words." And the vegetables and fruit trees and sprouting plants on the land said, “Did this guy just fall off a turnip truck?”
Day 4: DJT did not sign any orders today. Instead, he basked in his alt universe, where the sun, moon and stars revolve around him. "I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible."
Day 5: Then Trump saw monsters, brown creatures breathing and filling the whole earth and he said, “I don’t have a racist bone in my body.” So he barred the door to
keep the monsters out. “I do have a big heart,” Trump said. “We’re going to take care of everybody.”
Day 6. And Federal judges slapped DJT on his small, germaphobic hands and ruled that men and women NOT created in his image were worthy of protection. And the protesters at airports across the land shouted, “This is good. Actually, this is very good.”
Day 7. For Donald Trump, is anything blessed or holy? Does he ever need rest and renewal? Who knows. So, let us close the last day of his first week with this Trump tweet, excerpted from the Saturday, January 28, 2017, edition of the Burrard Street Journal:
Following Justin Trudeau’s thinly veiled condemnation of Trump’s new Muslim ban on social media, DJT tweeted at Trudeau to “stop wasting so much time on Facebook. I mean don’t you have a country to run or something?” Trump asked, labelling the Canadian Prime Minister a “social media whore”.
“He’s constantly online, 24/7. He’s obsessed,” Trump continued, suggesting the PM should seek psychiatric help for his addiction.
Trump claims Trudeau’s “embarrassing” attempts to “get likes” is all the more pathetic given he has so few followers compared to Trump:
“As of 3 a.m. last night, Trudeau only had 3,735,257 followers on Facebook compared to my 19,359,401. Sad.”
Frigging unbelievable, right? Right.
The Burrard Street Journal, quoted above, is a Canadian satiric news website based in Vancouver, BC. All articles are fictitious. Alternative facts. Lies.
You could have fooled me . . .
copyright Ozzie Nogg 2017